Preheat oven to 350 °F
First, remove the pits from the dates and roughly chop them. Add them to a bowl.
Sprinkle the baking soda and instant coffee(if you're using it) on top of the chopped dates. Now add the boiling water and let them soak for 10-15 minutes.
Now, Get started on the cake while the dates soak.
Add the room temperature butter and brown sugar to a mixing bowl. Beat with an electric whisk on medium speed until smooth and fluffy.
Now, Add in the two large eggs. After that, drizzle in the vanilla extract and milk. Now you can mix again until incorporated, about 1-2 minutes.
6. Then, add the all purpose flour and baking powder. If you're using cinnamon and/or nutmeg, add it now as well.
After that, beat with an electric mixer until well incorporated. At this point, the dates should have had enough time to soak.
Then, mash the dates with a fork or immersion blender until they look mushy and like oatmeal.
After that, add the mashed dates to the batter and mix quickly with your electric mixer until smooth and well incorporated.
Place the date cake into a well greased pan or personal pudding molds and bake in a preheated oven. Check Notes below for bake time. I baked mine in individual molds, so they took about 22 minutes for the skewer to come out clean.